At The End of The Day: You’re An Idiot!
If you use the phrase “At the end of the day” for anything, please turn to the nearest stranger, co-worker, or friend and ask them to punch you in the face as hard as they can. If no one is around, please by all means, punch yourself in the face as hard as you can, à la Fight Club style (You always wanted to be just like Tyler Durden, right? This is your best chance and greatest reason to mimic him.)
Every so often I hear a phrase that is uttered that turns my mood foul, makes me tense up, and I can actually feel irritation ripples slowly moving up through my entire body. At the end of the day, is currently my biggest “weapons hot” irritation phrase.
Not only is the phrase itself rage inducing to me, it’s usually also how it is delivered by the speaker. The smarmy, snarky, condescending tone used in conjunction with the offending phrase only compounds my want to beat your ass levels. It’s like a rancid, shriveled, rotten cherry on top of the sundae which consists of ice cream made from sewer water instead of milk.
What exactly constitutes an “end of the day” anyway? I mean technically the end of the day would be when the sun sets. This phrase is ridiculous any time of the day. However, it’s particularly nonsensical in the evening.
So, if someone utters this asinine phrase at you after dark; just smile, look at them, and in the same snarky, condescending tone reply: “Last I checked, the sun has already set. It is past the end of the day. Therefore, past the end of the day, you sir/miss/madam are an idiot.” Then watch them look at you in amazement, awe, and delightfully stunning confusion.
I will be happy when this trendy, edgy, pseudo-intellectual phrase dies a fiery death.
Remember kids:
Friends don’t let friends say: “At the end of the day.”
